[Humor] On The Mark

The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn’t.
There is a moral sense and there is an immoral sense. History shows that the moral sense enables us to see morality and how to avoid it, and that the immoral sense enables us to perceive immorality and how to enjoy it.
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do ... Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.
We get our morals from books. I didn’t get mine from books, but I know that morals do come from books – theoretically at least.
Homely truth is unpalatable.
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.
It’s noble to be good, and it’s nobler to teach others to be good, and less trouble.
When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man’s, I mean.
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up.
There has never been an intelligent person of the age of sixty who would consent to live his life over again. His or anyone else’s.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This ist he principal difference between a dog and a man.
The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have someone to divide it with.
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that ti will last through a lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.
Do not put off till tomorrow what can be put off till day-after-tomorrow just as well.
"Classic:" A book which people praise and don’t read.
Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.