[Interest] The Middle Wife

The Middle Wife> >> >By an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher> >> >I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kidsmyself,>but> >the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade >classroom.> >> >> >When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a fewsessions> >with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show- >and-tell> >is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, picturesof>fish> >they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundariesor >limitations> >on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it,they're>welcome.> >> >> > Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoingkid,> >takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow>stuffed> >under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant.> >> > "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his >birthday.> >First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dadput>a> >seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for ninemonths> >through an umbrella cord."> >> > [She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm tryingnot>to> >laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watchingher>in> >amazement.]> >> > "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh,oh,> >oh, oh!' " [Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.] "Shewalked >around> >the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'> >> > [Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.]> >> > "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't>have> >a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie downin>bed> >like this."> >> > [Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.]> >> > "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there incase>he> >got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like >psshhheew!"> >> >> > [This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are mimingwater> >flowing away. It was too much!]> >> > "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, >breathe.'> >They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a >sudden,> >out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said itwas> >from Mom's play-center!, so there must be a lot of stuff insidethere.">> >> > [Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her >seat.> >I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it'sshow-and-tell> >day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.