[Adult] Dog Fight

The Israelis and Arabs finally realized that if they continued > fighting, they would someday end > > up destroying the world. > > > > So they sat down and decided to settle the whole > > dispute with a dogfight. The negotiators agreed that > > each country would take five years to develop the best > > fighting dog they could. > > > > The dog that won the fight would earn its country the > > right to rule the disputed areas. > > > > The losing side would have to lay down its arms. > > > > The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and > > Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and > > then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian > > wolves. > > > > They selected only t he biggest, strongest puppy from > > each litter, killed all the other puppies and fed them > > the best food . They used steroids and trainers in > > their quest for the perfect killing machine. > > > > After the five years were up, they had a dog that > > needed iron prison bars on its cage. Only the trainers > > could handle this beast. When the day of the big fight > > arrived, the Israelis showed up with a strange animal. > > > > It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry > > for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird > > animal stood a chance against the growling beast in > > the Arab camp. The bookies predicted the Arabs would > > win in less than a minute. The cages were opened. The > > Dachshund waddled toward the center of the ring. > > > > The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged th e giant > > wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the > > Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and > > swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was > > nothing left but a small bit of fur from the killer > > dog's tail. > > > > The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads > > in disbelief. "We do not understand. Our top > > scientists and breeders worked for five years with the > > meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They > > developed a killing machine." > > > > "Really?" the Israelis replied. "We had our top > > plastic surgeons working for five years to make an > > alligator look like a Dachshund."