You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado
>> here are the 2008 Darwin awards.
>>
>> Eighth Place
>>
>> In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
>> water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to
>> retrieve his car keys.
>>
>> Seventh Place
>>
>> A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he
>> ran,' accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.
>>
>> Sixth Place
>>
>> While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for
>> protection from the wind and had been sitt ing in a beach ch air at the
>> bottom! When it t collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People
>> on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could
>> not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an
>> hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
>>
>> Fifth Place
>>
>> Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a
>> bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long
>> flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into
>> the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
>>
>> Fourth Place
>>
>> Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends
>> who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his
> & gt; mouth and pull the trigger.
>>
>> Third Place
>>
>> After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front
>> door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the
>> store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was
>> standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber
>> announced a hold-u! p, and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol.
>> The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers
>> also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the
>> scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended
>> cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot
>> wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one
>> else was hurt.
>&g t;&nbs p;
>> HONORABLE MENTION>>
>> Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at
>> 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to
>> see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice the window was
>> closed.
>> RUNNER UP
>>
>> Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them
>> said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the
>> middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men
>> trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the
>> midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee
>> rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out
>> that a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by. T hey secured one end around
>> Bingham's leg and then tied the other ! ;to the bridge. His fall lasted
>> 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He
>> miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two
>> nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.
>>
>> AND THE WINNER IS...
>>
>> Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn, Germany) fed his
>> constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel
>> of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got
>> relief.
>>
>> Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
>> ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.
>>
>> The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected de feca tion knocke d Mr.
>> Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the
>> elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
>>
>> It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'S**t
>> happens'
>> IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING
>> THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment