[Adult] E-Z Pass

letter to the passport
office
Dear sir
I'm in the process of
renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio
Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable
from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where
I was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all
the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health
insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight passports I've
had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before
being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable
census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take
note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is
Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when
I die!!!!!!

I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning.
Between you an' me, I've had enough of this! You send the application
to my house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? You have
a gang of Neanderthal idiots workin' there! Look at my damn picture. Do
I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat. I
just want to go and park my butt on a sandy beach. And would someone please
tell me, why you care whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next
15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat,
believe you me, I'd sure not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to
go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another
copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to
have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new
passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too easy and maybe makes
sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens
with our heads cut off, then find some moron to confirm that it's really me on
the picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?!

Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!
Signed - An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said
above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my
family has been in this country since 1776 . I have served in the military for
something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang.
However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know,
someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST CHINA!