[Interest] Dear Diary

DIARY OF A 4-YEAR-OLD BOY
On Sunday, after my bath, I put on my superhero pajamas with a cape and a brand new pair of dinosaur underwear. Mama told me that I put on my underwear backwards. She said they would feel funny if the dinosaur was on the front. I told her I couldn't SEE the dinosaur if it was in the back. I told her they didn't feel too funny, anyway. Mama just sighed.

On Monday, at preschool, I showed Oliver my dinosaur underwear. He thought they were really neat. Then Oliver showed me his dump truck underwear. They
were REALLY neat. I told Mama I wanted a pair of dump truck underwear, too. Mama said not to show other people my underwear. I asked her if I could
still look at Oliver's underwear. Mama just sighed.

On Tuesday, at preschool, Oliver was wearing a shirt with a deer on the front of it and camouflage pants. My shirt was just plain yellow and my pants were regular brown. I told mama that I wanted a shirt with a deer on it and camouflage pants. Mama said I looked fine the way I was. I told Mama that tomorrow I would wear a shirt with a deer on it and camouflage pants.
Mama just sighed.
On Wednesday, I wore my camouflage belt and a shirt with a moose on it. Mama gave me green pants to wear without belt loops. I TOLD mama that I needed
pants with belt loops. I told her that I couldn't wear my belt if my pants didn't have belt loops. So I found my own pants WITH belt loops, even though they were blue. At preschool, Oliver told his mom that he wanted a belt, too. His mama just sighed.

On Thursday, at preschool, Oliver and I found a really cool pile of rocks. I tried to put some rocks in my pockets so that I could show daddy when I got home but I didn't have pockets in my pants. Oliver didn't have any pockets in his pants, either. Oliver told his mama that he needed pants with pockets next time. When my mama picked me up, I told her that next time I NEEDED
pockets in my pants, too. Mama just sighed.

On Friday, it snowed! Mama made me wear my big blue snow boots and snow pants and coat and mittens so I would be warm. At preschool, Oliver had his
blue snow boots and snow pants and coat and mittens, too. We were like the same! But Oliver had an orange sock hat. I had an orange hat, too, but I forgot it in the van. I told Mama that I needed MY hat so I could be like Oliver. So Mama went out to the van and brought me my hat. The teacher said to be glad its Friday. Mama just sighed.

Saturday was a family day. Mama said we were staying home. She said that I could wear whatever I wanted. So, I wore my dinosaur underwear, my
camouflage belt, my orange hat, and my mittens and boots. I stomped around the living room like a mean dinosaur and tickled my little sister until she
fell off the couch and cried. Mama told me to stop picking on my sister. Then I put on my superhero pajamas with the cape and saved Hailey from the
dinosaur monster but she still cried. Mama said that maybe Hailey didn't want to be tickled or saved or touched and that I should just LEAVE HER ALONE. Then, Mama just sighed.


Audrey Alfson is a mother of two rambunctious redheads, wife of a loving husband, a high school teacher (I teach, therefore I 'twitch') and
an aspiring author. She is Alaskan by birth, a Minnesotan by location. If you ask her, she prefers the former.