[Humor] It's A Guy Thing

SHOPPING FOR MENBuying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.Follow these rules and you should have no problems.Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matterif he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet tocomplain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.No one knows why.Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything withthe word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words."Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By the way, are youthrough with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for hiscar. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something tohang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No oneknows why.Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy menbathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, hewouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones theyhave worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TVwith the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips,and flips, and flips.Rule #6: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, itwill sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shaveor deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere."Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. Noone knows why.Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required"on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have partsleft over.Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they willbarbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank.Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wantsa hamburger?"Rule #11: Tickets to a hockey/football/basketball/baseball game are a smartgift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.Rule #12: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love achainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and whathappens when he gets a label maker.Rule #13: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminumextension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be anextension ladder. No one knows why.Rule #14: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins,or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of3/8" manila rope. No one knows why...