[Interest] Worldwide Pants

THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

Roy Collette and his brother-in-law have been exchanging the same pairof pants as a Christmas present for 11 years - and each time the packagegets harder to open. This year the pants came wrapped in a car mashedinto a 3-foot cube. The trousers are in the glove compartment of a 1974Gremlin. Now Collette's plotting his revenge - if he can get them out.

It all started when Collette received a pair of moleskin trousers fromhis brother-in-law, Larry Kunkel of Bensenville, Ill. Kunkel's motherhad given her son the britches when he was a college student. He worethem a few times, but they froze stiff in cold weather and he didn'tlike them. So he gave them to Collette. Collette, who called themoleskins "miserable", wore them three times, then wrapped them up andgave them back to Kunkel for Christmas the next year.

The friendly exchange continued routinely until Collette twisted thepants tightly, stuffed them into a 3-foot-long, 1-inch wide tube andgave them back to Kunkel.

The next Christmas, Kunkel compressed the pants into a 7-inch square,wrapped them with wire and gave the "bale" to Collette.

Not to be outdone, the next year Collette put the pants into a 2-foot-square crate filled with stones, nailed it shut, banded it with steeland gave the trusty trousers back to Kunkel.

The brothers agreed to end the caper if the trousers were damaged. Butthey were as careful as they were clever.

Kunkel had the pants mounted inside an insulated window that had a20-year guarantee and shipped them off to Collette.

Collette broke the glass, recovered the trousers, stuffed them into a5-inch coffee can and soldered it shut. The can was put in a 5-galloncontainer filled with concrete and reinforcing rods and given to Kunkelthe following Christmas.

Two years ago, Kunkel installed the pants in a 225-pound home-made steelashtray made from 8-inch steel casings and etched Collette's name on theside. Collette had trouble retrieving the treasured trousers, butsucceeded without burning them with a cutting torch.

Last Christmas, Collette found a 600-pound safe and hauled it to ViraconInc. in Owatonna, where the shipping department decorated it with redand green stripes, put the pants inside and welded the safe shut. Thesafe was then shipped to Kunkel, who is the plant manager for Viracon'soutlet in Bensenville.

Last week, the pants were trucked to Owatonna, 55 miles south ofMinneapolis, in a drab green, 3-foot cube that once was a car with95,000 miles on it. A note attached to the 2,000-pound scrunched caradvised Collette that the pants were inside the glove compartment."This will take some planning," Collette said. "I will definitely getthem out. I'm confident." But he's waiting until January to think abouthow to recover the bothersome britches.

"Wait until next year," he warned. "I'm on the offensive again."