[Humor] Kids View

NUDITYI was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when aWoman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was starknaked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from theback seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!HONESTYMy son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'ddropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in thegarbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroomand came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charminglittle smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in thetoilet a few days ago.OPINIONSOn the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note fromhis mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are notnecessarily those of his parents"KETCHUPA woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. Duringher struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answerthe phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Thenshe added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She'shitting the bottle."MORE NUDITYA little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's lockerroom. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbingtowels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and thenasked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"ELDERLYWhile working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderlyshut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. Thevarious appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers andwheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at apair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for theinevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,"The tooth fairy will never believe this!"DRESS-UPA little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw herdad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.""And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache thenext morning."SCHOOLA little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wastingmy time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and theywon't let me talk!"BIBLEA little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingeredthrough the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He pickedup the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had beenpressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy calledout."What have you got there, dear?" ”With astonishment in the young boy'svoice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear.”